AP Sportswire – Savannah, GA

Coaches Jeff Iannone, Mike DeMell and Julie Hunt announced today in a joint press conference that the 10 man roster for the 2006 season has been filled.  “I am proud to announce the addition of Sarah Kathryn Boyles to our team.  She has the speed, tenacity and overall personality that will make her a great addition to the team”, said Iannone.  “Furthermore, the previously announced addition of Maggie Hall was a critical pick up for team Italia.  Her level of experience will undoubtedly benefit the team from day one.”

“I am so happy to be part of the team, said Sarah Kathryn.  I had a couple of options but chose the route that I felt would be best for my family, my career and would provide the most marketing contract opportunities.”  Maggie Hall added, “When you have the opportunity as a free agent to join a big market team coming off an undefeated season you jump at it.  I look forward to contributing to the team in any role they need.”

 Coach Julie added, “We are excited to have the group back together.  The strength of the team is their ability and desire to play unselfishly and work as one unit.”  Mike DeMell then chimed in, “Speaking of marketing dollars…” “Not now Mike!!,” cautioned Iannone… “By the way what is that awful smell?”  “That’s my new athletic shoe insert, exclaimed Demell.  It makes your feet feel great!”  “But Mike that smell, added Julie, it’s making my eyes water…you can’t market something that smells like that!”  Dad, please take those shoes off cried Morgan.” [Demell departs]

 “Sorry for the confusion.  Now we’d like to open the floor to questions for the rest of the team.”  Darby, last year you guys shocked a lot of people going 7-0-1 what are your expectations for this season? “Well, we felt all along we had a team that could win a lot of games, but that is over.  We need to focus on the new year, get into training camp and start to gel as a group.”  Sabrina? “Darby’s right, we have a big bulls eye on our backs this year.  No one is going to just rollover and let us win.  In fact they want to be the first to beat Fresco Elegante’”  Claire, you have been training offsite for the last month.  Is this a result of an injury?  “No, not at all.  I felt like returning to nature to regain focus was the best alternative for me.  No phone, no TV just hard work and rough living…”  Maggie [Iannone] your father has been called the lion by the players, why is that? “laughing, well we selected that animal for him because of the occasional roar he exudes.  He is nice to the other coaches, but he’d just assume plow em over once the game starts.  [puzzled look] “do you expect to have a place to sleep tonight?, asked coach Jeff.  Frances, you and Lauren are awfully quiet so far.  What’s going on in your minds? “Well, said Lauren, “I am ready to roll.  I can’t wait to get the team hootin’ and hollerin’ at midfield before that first game.  I just want to let it rip!  Frances added, “it’s been a long offseason.  I’ve been training hard and am in the best playing shape of my career.  I look to take charge offensively and make things happen.  If I need to take someone down…so beit!”

Mike called out from the back, “this team is great to be associated with.  My ESPN series was a great success, my ‘DeMell’s Liquigel Sportsdrink’ is now the second best selling sports drink worldwide and my new shoe inserts will be great.  Have I told you about them?  It’s like walking on a cloud and the smell is certain to be a distraction to our opponents…’DeMell’s Funky Smell’ shoe inserts.  Found at all the leading retailers on the foot care aisle.”

Okay then, stated Iannone, well are there any more questions?  Yes, Abbey is it true your mom spends countless hours watching game film?  “I’d say.  She watched each of the World Cup matches three times dissected the video and will use these to put together game plans for our matches.  She does sleep though contrary to popular opinion.”  Morgan how does your dad prepare for the season?  “Well this year he bought a lot of ice and some thigh pads.  He says he’s prepared for any cheap shot blindsided kicks any lady coaches want to fire at him.  Besides that he’s been busy mixing cod liver oil and other smelly substances together in the garage.”  What about your preparation?  “Well, I’m fully committed to the season.  Two years ago when I turned down a lucrative goalie contract from Lil’ Crew to remain with the team I decided this is where I plan on ending my career.  The only way to do that is to keep the fan support behind me.”

“Well I think you have a good feel for our team’s level of commitment.  Our early season practices will be closed to the media, but later in the year I expect in accordance to league rules to provide limited access to the grounds and players.  Thank you.”